thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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