Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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