bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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