is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
