BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
