Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
