Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
