Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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