Will you blow on my dice?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
