He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
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She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
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Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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