How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
