Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Your penis caused this!
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