Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
