On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
