so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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