u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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