Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
