That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Randomize
