We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
