return my video game
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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