Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
