I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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