Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
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I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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