....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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