She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
