What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
