i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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