I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
