nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
