I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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