Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
