my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
