they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize