I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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