What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
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