I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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