he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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