you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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