she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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