so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
