Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
