You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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