someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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