dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
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Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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