wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it because I queefed?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
