is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
