There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
