At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
