Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he fucked my hip out of place.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
