shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
