i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
