woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize