Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
the liver wants what the liver wants
don't judge my taste in strippers
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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