I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
