Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
