i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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