Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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