hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
