Porn is love you can see.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
